Monthly Archives: May 2017

Enemy of Oneness

I’m watching a man in front of a conveyor belt. His movements are exact and steady, but still he keeps repeating the same mistakes he has done for a thousand times. He is not the kind of a man that people usually think of as wise. He enjoys peace and rowing his boat as he fishes with a hook and line. He only takes what he needs. He has never intentionally caused harm to anyone. He does not like boats with motors that much. They will break the water’s surface and the surrounding silence. He is a harmless man and he is not guilty for my anxiety.

The man raises his gaze and speaks to me, but I can’t understand him. I’m away. I know that he rarely asks anything so I smile and nod. The man continues his numb performance, in a role that he has adapted to, as he is trying his best with what has been given to him. This reference applies to both; to this man subjectively and to mankind as a whole.

I’m a very apocalyptic person. And while that hasn’t changed, everything else has. One of the most memorable moments in my life were the passing seconds when I was able to look at him, a fool, as an irrational representative Of Man, without being distressed and hateful. Before that my path has not been much more than a desperate cry on how the world is not how it should be. After the first spiritual crisis there is always more to come. But in suffering, as a gift from life, there is always hope and potential for growth.

My deep feelings for the forests, which I used to call nature, were a sanctuary built on a burial ground. Unable to see that there is also beauty in a barren landscapes, which are also a part of nature. I had violently separated all those dear to me from oneness, as I magnetized myself into vanishing emotions. Praising the decay of the world, while desperately trying to save what I felt was important. Preaching hate towards mankind, as I saw we do not belong in this world.

One should abandon visions for changing the world, as it is complete. Wave the white flag with pride and joy, willing to sacrifice everything. The true change takes place within yourself.

Our New Chairman

Today, on the 7th May 2017, the Star of Azazel has been in function as a society for 130 months. Every one of these has consisted of intensive work. As an idea of the occult brotherhood working in the application of uniting the opposites in esotericism, and for the ideal of oneness, the philosophy of the Star of Azazel is now eighteen years old, and is thus coming to the age of an independent young person. The “Tree” of our society – its living, growing structure – has taken root beautifully, and has endured both storms and the challenges of daily routines.

This is a good day for the first change to the society’s chairmanship. Having been the chairman for the society myself up to this date, today that office is given to sister Heith. The brotherhood – as well as many an outside observer – know her as industrious, trustworthy, energetic, efficient and a creative guide. Especially in the parts outside of Finland; Heith’s ability to build bridges and help other members to find forms to activate themselves is well known.

I will continue my work in the inner group of the Star of Azazel. To leave the chairmanship as well as some other responsibilities to other hands is for me personally a day of joy and celebration. The office of a guide or a leader is, and it should be, a heavy responsibility. The one who wants to guide others is not apt to do so; a real leader knows the hardships and the problems of leadership, and finds themselves at the center of situations that are many layered and challenging. From this central point, they must consider all angles and proceed with a practical application that is best for all. Let our gratefulness and respect therefore be with our new chairman, who takes this burden upon her shoulders for the common ideal and the common Great Work, with knowledge and understanding of the aforementioned and its responsibility.

Fear Not Your Freedom


John Collier – The Death of Albine

Fear no more the lightning flash,
Nor the all-dreaded thunder stone;
Fear not slander, censure rash;
Thou hast finished joy and moan:
All lovers young, all lovers must
Consign to thee, and come to dust.

The aim of our lives, I often reflect, should be to become free. Free to exist as we wish, to dare to think, look and to feel in a way that reflects our true selves.

For an artist, freedom is in some ways allowed more easily than to others. In this profession, one is allowed to be a little strange. In some ways it is even expected of an artist; expected that our daily rhythms are not so fixed, that we may be wholly and completely arrested by the smallest thing -a blade of a grass which cuts the air swiftly like a sword, the eye of a fish opening a gate to the underworld with its stare, a paragraph in a book which was written as if straight into our heart with love’s hot needle. So the creative mind swoons at the face of such mysteries, deeply moved, and the person who is perhaps not so inclined looks upon this and thinks, what a wonderfully easy, free (and a little bit useless) life you must lead!

But, freedom is no synonym to comfortable, nor to easy (as is indeed not, the life of an artist, either). Quite the opposite. Freedom is actually quite difficult. It takes work, to not to care for the critics and the slander, to keep doing your thing when all the doors seem to close while simultaneously, nothing opens, to do your thing despite that it may be something which is not considered the norm. Any practicer of the Left Hand Path is familiar with such confrontations with their surroundings. Success takes that one is true to themselves and very brave, which is very hard indeed.

John Collier – Lady Godiva

Certainly, freedom is not for everyone, because not everyone can handle it. We are taught to not handle it; we are taught to not lead and to not experience, but to obey and follow instructions and protocols. To not care very much, to not feel very deeply. The curse of our times is a kind of nihilism and apathy. It’s very easy to fall prey to belittling everything -that one person can’t make a difference, that at a certain age one should no longer play, that things don’t matter, that I should not hold the reins of my own life – and so forth.
What I often find common in people who are, shall we say, free, is that they think of death quite a lot. The realisation that everything dies; one’s parents, friends, pets, yourself, that time is ticking away- there’s something very liberating in this. Both because we will cease to be, our bodies will disappear into the earth, and slowly every item that we touched, will break, be forgotten, burned, thrown away- it all will come to dust.

Death truly is the great liberator and depending on how we relate to death and dying, the idea of dying can either feel like a suffocating prison or the ultimate freedom.

Death will tear away the chains of flesh which bind us here. It will tear away our emotions, the things we touch, the things that touched us. In the face of our struggles, problems, fears, death looks upon, impassive, untouched, inevitable.
What a wonderful thing, that in the midst of life which is filled with chaos, something can be trusted to happen so surely. Perhaps death is the only thing that can be trusted.

Then why should one be afraid of anything if the price for that is the loss of one’s freedom, or that one would never even taste freedom in the first place? How many times is it so that a person, at the moments before their death feels fear and regret? Regret for the things they did not do, for the words they dared not speak in fear of being ridiculed or judged? The passions they dreamt of but never dared live?

It may well be a life-long journey to learn how to fear no more -to not fear freedom, nor that great liberator to whom we all must in the end bow our heads to. But these are worth thinking about. The latter will come inevitably whether one wants it or not. But the former is something that one has to work towards achieving and earning.


John William Waterhouse – Psyche Opening the Golden Box