Esoteric Jokebook

Discussion on literature other than by the Star of Azazel.
Gangleri

Re: Esoteric Jokebook

Post by Gangleri »

How much does Blind Channel understand the dark side?

- As much as the spoon understands the taste of the food

***

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge.

They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up the screen.

Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.

He stutters, "But how?! I lost everything yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?"

God chuckles, "Jesus saves."
Gangleri

Re: Esoteric Jokebook

Post by Gangleri »

What did an esotericist say when his cigarette papers finished?

- Thank God I have those Sacred Scriptures!

(Based upon a true story.)
Gangleri

Re: Esoteric Jokebook

Post by Gangleri »

I think this goes for an esoteric joke, although it is of the most serious kind:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUrMcQ3ro0E
Gangleri

Re: Esoteric Jokebook

Post by Gangleri »

So it happened in a Buddhist community that a young monk had achieved an advanced state of enlightment. This naturally caused talk in the community, and the young monk was asked how does he feel now.

"As miserable as before", he answered.
Gangleri

Re: Esoteric Jokebook

Post by Gangleri »

What did an odinist say when people started treating him as a bad guy?

- I guess my invocation of Bölverkr succeeded.

(Based upon a True story.)
Gangleri

Re: Esoteric Jokebook

Post by Gangleri »

When does an esotericist collect his own?

- only when the Ripe fruit falls from the tree.
Gangleri

Re: Esoteric Jokebook

Post by Gangleri »

What did an occultist say when listening to Michael Jackson and breaking the law at the same time?

- Now I'm a smooth criminal.
Gangleri

Re: Esoteric Jokebook

Post by Gangleri »

What did an occultist say when Red wine ended?

- I must look upon other aspects

(Based upon a True story.)
Gangleri

Re: Esoteric Jokebook

Post by Gangleri »

How did the esoterist reply when he/she was given things that one didn't really understand?

- I haven't penetrated those mysteries YET!
Gangleri

Re: Esoteric Jokebook

Post by Gangleri »

What did Balaam reply to Ha-satan?

- Can't I really go around you? You are around me!
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