Fighting oneself

Convictions, morals, other societies and religions.
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Nefastos
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Re: Fighting oneself

Post by Nefastos »

Benemal wrote: Mon Nov 09, 2020 6:29 pmNothing else put the electric dragon to sleep.

I was just visiting a relative and took a larger quantity of alcohol after a long pause. As a result, I was actually able to sleep one night better (when the first effect of alcohol had disappeared after two nights) and got a handsome seven hours of rest. It was funny how distant the world seemed in the next day, when the dragon was still drowsy & relaxed.

But since I do not think that life is supposed to be relaxing, fun, or even happy (in our present epoch of Kali Yuga; it will be later), but we are here mostly to Work, I am not sorry that the electric dragon is seldom sleepy. Monastic brotherhoods have artificially depraved their practitioners of sleep in order to get the dragonride, so isn't it enviable to be able to feel that torment continuosly? Naturally one does burn the candle from the both ends in that, but if we get double the usual light with that, I tend to think it as an acceptable deal, with the bonus of getting away earlier than usual.
Faust: "Lo contempla. / Ei muove in tortuosa spire / e s'avvicina lento alla nostra volta. / Oh! se non erro, / orme di foco imprime al suol!"
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Smaragd
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Re: Fighting oneself

Post by Smaragd »

Nefastos wrote: Tue Nov 10, 2020 8:58 am
Benemal wrote: Mon Nov 09, 2020 6:29 pmNothing else put the electric dragon to sleep.

I was just visiting a relative and took a larger quantity of alcohol after a long pause. As a result, I was actually able to sleep one night better (when the first effect of alcohol had disappeared after two nights) and got a handsome seven hours of rest. It was funny how distant the world seemed in the next day, when the dragon was still drowsy & relaxed.

But since I do not think that life is supposed to be relaxing, fun, or even happy (in our present epoch of Kali Yuga; it will be later), but we are here mostly to Work, I am not sorry that the electric dragon is seldom sleepy. Monastic brotherhoods have artificially depraved their practitioners of sleep in order to get the dragonride, so isn't it enviable to be able to feel that torment continuosly?
A blessing indeed. On the rare occasions in these more structurally disciplined couple of years of mine that I have drunk myself to the state that have made the dragon drowsy, I too have felt like it's a misfortune and missed getting back to work, which would propably look like grey and dull ordinary life to the outer senses.
"Would to God that all the Lord's people were Prophets”, Numbers 11:29 as echoed by William Blake
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Benemal
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Re: Fighting oneself

Post by Benemal »

Smaragd wrote: Tue Nov 10, 2020 11:45 pm As a result, I was actually able to sleep one night better (when the first effect of alcohol had disappeared after two nights) and got a handsome seven hours of rest. It was funny how distant the world seemed in the next day, when the dragon was still drowsy & relaxed.
I suppose I'm lucky, that I sleep so "well". At least plenty of hours. It's not very restful usually, because of the intense trippy adventures, that we recently discussed again. I don't know what the difference is between us.
Nefastos wrote: Tue Nov 10, 2020 8:58 am Monastic brotherhoods have artificially depraved their practitioners of sleep in order to get the dragonride, so isn't it enviable to be able to feel that torment continuosly?
I just feel calm, when staying awake long. But that's maybe thirty hours. I'm sure the ascetic fakirs stay awake for a month, without food, on a pole, while children throw rocks at them and crows eat their livers etc. Yeah, it's nice we don't need that.
Seferoth
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Re: Fighting oneself

Post by Seferoth »

I do or at least i used to fight myself constantly. I was a Christian who had this deep interest in the occult. I used to tell and almost shout to myself "you are going to hell if you don't get rid of these interests", i had to constantly deny myself and my true nature which was very painful and did nothing good to me, i was always depressed, feeling down and lived in fear. Every since i found The Star of Azazel and Luciferianism i have felt lot better and i managed to break the shackles of christianity.
Gangleri

Re: Fighting oneself

Post by Gangleri »

Seferoth wrote: Tue Jun 29, 2021 4:03 pm I do or at least i used to fight myself constantly. I was a Christian who had this deep interest in the occult. I used to tell and almost shout to myself "you are going to hell if you don't get rid of these interests", i had to constantly deny myself and my true nature which was very painful and did nothing good to me, i was always depressed, feeling down and lived in fear. Every since i found The Star of Azazel and Luciferianism i have felt lot better and i managed to break the shackles of christianity.
It's good to hear you have gotten rid of depressing doctrines. I was for years extremely depressed by the idea that there most certainly is a God but no possible way to "reach" him; it was like a heavy burden in my daily life - no matter what I did, there was no way one could ascend to God. There have been studies as of late that being free of religion can be a good thing for one's health, both mentally and psychologically. To counter-balance those studies in the name of "uniting the hands", several other studies show that having a religion - in general, not just some socially accepted form of it - is good for making long-term plans about your life.
Mars
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Re: Fighting oneself

Post by Mars »

Gangleri wrote: Tue Jun 29, 2021 9:34 pmI was for years extremely depressed by the idea that there most certainly is a God but no possible way to "reach" him; it was like a heavy burden in my daily life - no matter what I did, there was no way one could ascend to God.
Me too. Maybe this quote from Thomas Keating may be of comfort: "The chief thing that separates us from God is the thought that we are separated from God."
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