Sex

Putting together ones life with the modern world.
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Nefastos
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Re: Sex

Postby Nefastos » Wed Aug 07, 2019 1:07 pm

Tulihenki wrote:
Sun Aug 04, 2019 8:51 pm
I was hesitating a little bit. Hard to find right words and very personal area.


Thank you for your valuable input, Tulihenki! Even though our culture have took long steps in the last two decades or so regarding the more appreciated side of sexuality & sexual diversity, the phenomenon is still so young, that it cannot have penetrated (indeed) the whole pscyhological atmosphere. And what seems to the modern culture an asset, the sexuality's disconnectedness from all mystico-religious thought is seen as a serious disability by occult philosophy. The latter has always considered sexuality to be extremely magical a force, or a bunch of several connected forces.

I remember many combusted discussions about sexuality with people with homo- or bisexual identities when I have claimed that sexuality is so sublime and all-encompassive and also energetic, that different kinds of sexual contacts have different impacts on one's energetical person. This is what I still believe, but I have learned to remain more silent when talking about these things with people whom I don't know very well. For it usually seems to sound like an attack, because one is already on edge because of the subject's intimacy, and my words can be blunt instruments on many occasions. But my personal experience as well as occult deduction is that sexual intercourse – along with all the erotic play, be it with any kind of partner, or alone – may have a vast multitude of different effects on many planes of one's energetical and psychological being, depending on a vast amount of different factors. This extremely delicate and multifaceted nature of eroticism is one of the many reasons why I liken it to magical working as a whole. It is where the worlds meet in creation, be it subjectively only or also objectively.
Faust: "Lo contempla. / Ei muove in tortuosa spire / e s'avvicina lento alla nostra volta. / Oh! se non erro, / orme di foco imprime al suol!"
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Re: Sex

Postby Tulihenki » Fri Aug 09, 2019 9:58 am

Nefastos wrote:
Wed Aug 07, 2019 1:07 pm
I remember many combusted discussions about sexuality with people with homo- or bisexual identities when I have claimed that sexuality is so sublime and all-encompassive and also energetic, that different kinds of sexual contacts have different impacts on one's energetical person. This is what I still believe, but I have learned to remain more silent when talking about these things with people whom I don't know very well.
Lately I have been watching images of gay couples both male and female. While I don't have (I think) anything against gay marriages some pics raises sort of weird or even negative feelings. Like one pic was where two females were wearing wedding dresses. Maybe I didn't notice some polarities or couldn't see inner things through a pic, but it didn't feel right while I didn't get any ''this is awful'' feelings either.

At least for me this is interesting as my more traditional phase and me being sort of female character shares this feeling. I can't have sex with a female if my traditional ''self'' is not there. But both sides also shares interest in very masculine bearded men.

For me everyone's words are welcome. I'm not easily offended and this topic is so vast and interesting as I feel truly that I'm swimming in the ocean of wonders.
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Re: Sex

Postby Tulihenki » Sat Aug 10, 2019 9:34 am

I wanna add that by my words I mean no harm to anyone. Not sure was I too harsh. Anyway that comment was about my own inner conflicts and for example I wouldn't try to stop gay marriages in anyway.
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Cerastes
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Re: Sex

Postby Cerastes » Sat Aug 10, 2019 11:39 am

Tulihenki wrote:
Sat Aug 10, 2019 9:34 am
I wanna add that by my words I mean no harm to anyone. Not sure was I too harsh. Anyway that comment was about my own inner conflicts and for example I wouldn't try to stop gay marriages in anyway.
There is nothing harsh about this.
I think it's perfectly normal for images that we do not know to cause discomfort at first. For a long time I have had a more or less conscious problem with homosexual men who behave extremly feminine. The things we do not understand are the things we reject and in a way they control us. Noticing this is the only process to overcome it.

Since tolerance has become very important as a social value today, I often see a kind of fake tolerance that is not based on real understanding. For this reason I don't like it when people become hysterical about homophobia or sexism. Screaming at the homophobic until s/he shuts up is not a good way to stop homophobia for it blocks this process of understanding. It might change what they say in public but it will not change how they feel.

It ist very interesting, by the way, how you can switch from one role to another and it may cause a good understanding for both genders.
“Granny Weatherwax was not lost. She wasn't the kind of person who ever became lost. It was just that, at the moment, while she knew exactly where SHE was, she didn't know the position of anywhere else.”
(Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)
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Re: Sex

Postby Tulihenki » Sat Aug 10, 2019 6:18 pm

I have been able to connect quite easily to both genders. Maybe women are more easy to approach when I think about deep friendships without erotical stuff.

I wonder what things would be like if I wouldn't be into occultism. Sometimes in female phase I'm quite annoyed by my hair legs and so on, but not suffering in my body so I have found funny private humour about it. Also my skill to visualize is pretty strong as I can feel female genitalia instead of my male. That was interesting to notice. I can also very strongly visualize myself as a standing cobra for a some reason. I fear snakes actually, but that is funnily not a scary situation.
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Re: Sex

Postby Segel » Sat Aug 10, 2019 10:28 pm

For me in some reason sexual desire and danger feeling has always walked hand in hand. Not that I see something dangerous or wrong in sexuality itself, but it seems to be impossible for me to raise that flame if there is nothing "forbidden" or dangerous in situation. When I was younger this tendency drove me into dangerous roads, irresponsible lifestyle and bad company.
Now in my thirties, in long lasting and safe relationship, living together, there is nothing forbidden and it requires work to light that fire, requires imagination. I feel like my sexual desire is kind of sleeping most of the time nowdays, like it was shutted down. It's easy for me not to be really present when having sex just to keep partner satisfied, sometimes.
To be faithful ant truetfull physically but not in thoughts everytime, I know its not the right way. We discuss these matters quite openly with my partner, i want honesty in our relationship, of course. Sex for me is just a small part of working partnership but a great thing about being human. I know this is a problem for me, problem that I'm instinctively trying to push back into the darkness in my mind because I don't know if I'm ready to deal with it and I dont know how. Even though my partner thinks that infidelity at the level of thought is not a betrayal. I'd like to get this thing in harmony, thoughts and action, but I don't think the solution is in the physical realization of all my sexual thoughts and going back to that irresponsible lifestyle like back then. There is too much to loose now.
Oh gee, im broken in all the areas of life, maybe I also need sexual therapy. Too much information maybe ha ha. I hope you don't vomit.

This is how I feel again :oops: :

https://youtu.be/HDtysFGlU64
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Cerastes
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Re: Sex

Postby Cerastes » Sun Aug 11, 2019 10:52 am

Tulihenki wrote:
Sat Aug 10, 2019 6:18 pm
I wonder what things would be like if I wouldn't be into occultism.
Nobody knows. But at least for me sexuality and the whole gender topic was one of the reasons why I even found interest in occultism at the first place. It helped me to understand my own sexuality and the sexuality of other people and it was a door opener for the philosophy of oneness, so to say.
Tulihenki wrote:
Sat Aug 10, 2019 6:18 pm
I can also very strongly visualize myself as a standing cobra for a some reason. I fear snakes actually, but that is funnily not a scary situation.
I love snakes, they are in my opinion the most beautiful and aesthetic animals.
The cobra may fit very well because it is elegant and smooth but also a very active hunter compared to other snakes like pythons or sand vipers. That's why they make cobra shows in India. The cobra in one of the few snakes that follows a moving flute.
Segel wrote:
Sat Aug 10, 2019 10:28 pm
For me in some reason sexual desire and danger feeling has always walked hand in hand. Not that I see something dangerous or wrong in sexuality itself, but it seems to be impossible for me to raise that flame if there is nothing "forbidden" or dangerous in situation. When I was younger this tendency drove me into dangerous roads, irresponsible lifestyle and bad company.
Now in my thirties, in long lasting and safe relationship, living together, there is nothing forbidden and it requires work to light that fire, requires imagination. I feel like my sexual desire is kind of sleeping most of the time nowdays, like it was shutted down. It's easy for me not to be really present when having sex just to keep partner satisfied, sometimes.
To be faithful ant truetfull physically but not in thoughts everytime, I know its not the right way.
Reading your comment brought up so many associations and pictures in my mind that I decided to write a few lines about this topic. Hopefully it is not taken as an offence.

The conflict between safety and the need for trill is something I know very well, even if it s not directly linked to sexuality in my case. There is a thin line between the sweet forbidden fruits in a positive sense and self-destructive or unnecessary danger and that line is drawn by guilt. If something makes us feel guilty, even if it is a subconcious reaction, it will manifest in self-destructiveness sooner or later. The subconcious mind tells you that you deserve punishment for what you do and you may put youself into danger by your actions and switch off your healthy fear of getting hurt. Regarding sexuality I'd say that one can only feel lust and sexual tension in a positive, fullfilling sense if s/he is not blocked by guilt or shame. Sexual fantasies become a positive thing as soon as they are wanted and not rejected and if you feel guilty towards your partner, remember that he will have a good time too if you feel more „sexual“ again. I don't think it is necessary to act out every sexual fantasy but maybe you could still act out the tension it creates.

PS: Game of thrones is awesome, especially the zombie dragon. :D
“Granny Weatherwax was not lost. She wasn't the kind of person who ever became lost. It was just that, at the moment, while she knew exactly where SHE was, she didn't know the position of anywhere else.”
(Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)
Tulihenki
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Re: Sex

Postby Tulihenki » Sun Aug 11, 2019 2:09 pm

Cerastes wrote:
Sun Aug 11, 2019 10:52 am
The cobra may fit very well because it is elegant and smooth but also a very active hunter compared to other snakes like pythons or sand vipers.
That is interesting! Sounds like my female nature truly. That actually helped me to understand lack of fear in cobra visualization and why it spontaneously rised at first time.
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Re: Sex

Postby Segel » Sun Aug 11, 2019 5:39 pm

Thanks for your comment Cerestes, nice to get perspective, now I'm crawling back into my cave to think about this and other stuff
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Nefastos
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Re: Sex

Postby Nefastos » Mon Aug 12, 2019 1:10 pm

Segel wrote:
Sat Aug 10, 2019 10:28 pm
For me in some reason sexual desire and danger feeling has always walked hand in hand. (...) https://youtu.be/HDtysFGlU64


Watching the video clip was interesting experience without the full context. I remember the character from those times I saw some of the earlier Game of Thrones though.

It naturally made me to think about this Azazelian travesty of projected shame of the mob, in the stories of scapegoats like Jesus. And once again what Obnoxion said in that great radio interview, recently discussed again, how power often walks along with the form or name that is culturally forbidden (my apologies about the mutilation of the idea to form this short form for the idea). Where there is power, there the danger presents itself. This always happens in the Old Testament, where God is extremely dangerous to see or come close to. Seeing Him or being near the vessels of His power usually means death, whatever the reason of being close. He has no benevolence whatsoever, but is purely a force, even though people can come to be channels for that force and thus present Him in a more humane way. (Just one interesting example of this is seen in the 1 Samuel 4-6, where the dwelling place of JHVH, the ark of covenant, is brought to war, captured by the Philistines (!), and after that becoming a major nuisance in its Saturnine tendency to bring blight by its mere presence.)

Power, force, is potentia, a potency, and virtus, a virtue, meaning originally the same: an essence of a forceful thing, made powerful by its purity, clarity, solidity of being-as-it-is.

This might be one of the roots of all the sexual "shame". Force needs to be either used in a good way or grounded in order to be something else than a killing, maiming, disintegrating and annihilating thing. But in such a process there is always thousand against one possibility that instead of harnessing that pure, sacred force it is somehow lost from the "Great Work" (of doing what is right in an ascensive way). Thus someone close to this force or potentia or virtus is very likely to experience horror knowingly or subconsciously, in fear of losing or somehow twisting this force. This in turn becomes a profane, projectable shame, because it is the mob, the people as a whole, who really do that shaming, and share the guilt. In order to be able to live with that feeling of shame it must be projected onto an outer victim, the scapegoat. This is married to the force of sexuality, because sexuality is perhaps the innermost and most creative & powerful force for a human being. Giving birth to a wholly new being, which is one of the really astounding a miracle, is only one of its all-present abilities.

So, the "danger" is always there, so it seems to be not very hard to understand that for some temperaments, it must somehow be made visibly present, maybe in a form of sadomasochistic play or such playful and fundamentally trusting form of an apparent dark side of erotics? I guess for me this need becomes satisfied simply by the fact that I know and have felt (and even constantly experiencing) that danger of a primal force that it has become as an integral part of the whole erotic play. The edge of the knife is present at all times, the sword of Damocles is hanging above in perpetual danger. Once again this comes back to that awe & terror of the omnipresence of God – who clearly is Satan, in the Old Testament and outside of it.
Faust: "Lo contempla. / Ei muove in tortuosa spire / e s'avvicina lento alla nostra volta. / Oh! se non erro, / orme di foco imprime al suol!"

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