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Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2015 5:49 pm
Stealing this topic from the Finnish forum, where it was started as commentary to an article in a newspaper that says that it is becoming more and more common that funerals are not held at all, or that relatives are not present because they don't wish to be.
What kind of funeral would you wish for, for yourself or for your loved ones?
Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2015 1:21 pm
I think ideally the sky burial is one of the coolest and best ways. Open burial is also good way to go. I have been joking for years that when I die, I want that my corpse is shot into forest with circus cannon, but maybe I prefer the sky burial. But the circus cannon funeral is third option.
Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2015 9:54 pm
As far as I'm concerned, due to laws in the USA about proper body disposal, I'm fine with the idea of cremation. I feel it would be the least expensive option for my family. And, as for the funeral ceremony itself, a celebration of my life through music that I loved or created or that reminds those present of me combined with readings from literature and spiritual sources that I loved or created or reminds those present of me, and some prayer time for those who wish to partake. Any not of a spiritual bent or not approving of my spirituality could certainly opt out of the prayer time. Maybe using some of the celestial hymns. Perhaps the ceremony could be led by a friend or loved one and not some kind of clergy or justice of the peace.
Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2015 12:40 am
I’ve only been to two funerals in my life, both with Christian themes, one expressly so as it occurred in a cathedral. Both were bittersweet because of this: half of it remembering the dead’s life, humorous stories etc., and the other half completely unrelated inane Christian sermon. But I think people know me enough to know that I would want to avoid something like this, especially as I also want to avoid being buried.
But basically I wouldn’t want a funeral. Perhaps I’ll just register as a donor so my organs can be harvested or my body can be used as medical research or education. Why not physically contribute more in death than in life?
Kenazis wrote:I think ideally the sky burial is one of the coolest and best ways. Open burial is also good way to go. I have been joking for years that when I die, I want that my corpse is shot into forest with circus cannon, but maybe I prefer the sky burial. But the circus cannon funeral is third option.
Me and my friends joke about that as well. My favourite is to be taxidermied and turned into a remote control drone.
Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2015 1:29 pm
Your black humour delights me!
If there would be no limitations to burials (and in Finland, being a bureaucrat's heaven there certainly are restrictions to everything), ideally I would like to vanish in the nature. In this way, for those who would remember me would perhaps think that I have merged into the wilderness. Perhaps they could see me in blades of grass, trees and the animals. This kind of thought is very present in one of my favourite books, Kyyhky ja Unikko by the excellent Finnish author Timo K. Mukka. Sadly it has never been translated into English, which I think near criminal. The main characters of the story, a man and a younger woman who become lovers end up leaving the modern society and go into the wilderness to die, away from the noise of the iron aka our modern era.
I would like my corpse to be eaten by forest animals.
I would like to be able to know when the moment of my death approaches and to announce that I am leaving into the wilderness (to die). In this way, my loved ones would know that it wasn't an accident or something like that and avoid feeling like there was something that could have been done.
I think so much dignity is stripped from the elderly, like having to be in nursing homes where they live in some kind of artificial state of being alive. I've discussed this with my mother and told her she will not go into a nursing home but stay with me until she dies (which I think is a punishment enough, heh). She said it's horrible that old people have to live medicated just to stay alive. To which I said, you will not get that from me, I rather take you into the forest and the wolves may have you. That's right, said my mother, and seemed very pleased. As to my mother's burial, I will have her cremated and then bury the ashes in the same grave with her best friend. In Finland you obviously aren't allowed to do that so I will do it any not tell.
I haven't given thought to my father's burial much. He seems the kind of a person who would enjoy having a large tomb stone where appreciative art lovers may gather to worship his ingenuity. Which is of course, perfectly fine.
Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 10:29 am
Heith wrote:What kind of funeral would you wish for, for yourself or for your loved ones?
First of all, I would like the funeral of myself or my loved ones to be for the actually close people. At least in Finland it is still quite common to invite relatives that are not close to the deceased, if they are family or friends of the family. This, in turn, will mark the funeral as a formal instead of a heartfelt ritual, & so there are present people who attend because it's polite. I think that that is an opposite to sacredness & spiritual ceremony.
I would also like that my, or my loved ones funerals would be joyful events. I don't mean revelry, but uplifting experiences. For me my death will be the greatest spiritual event of all: a true feast of happiness. And although there are situations where a loved one's passing is full of sorrow (a child has died, one's spouse is lost, a relative has died seemingly unprepared, a young person has committed suicide...) there is another side to the tragedy, & that serene mystery should be sought even when it's not so easy to find. Precisely in those situations the spiritual side is all the more important to experience.
I'd like to be cremated, & at least part of the ash from my remains should be placed - in an urn or without - in a stone-marked grave or tomb. Trees nearby would be great, unless they are evergreen ones... cypresses are permitted.
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 12:03 am
I am absolutely certain that death is altogether mishandled in our world today. As a norm death is considered bad. Christianity namely Catholicism regrettably lays a foundation at early ages to fear death as well as mourne it. Why I asked would a people make such a terrible ordeal of the inevitable!?! Why not instead teach there is as much beauty in death as in life? At the very least teach that the way one dies his or her death is as important as the way he/she lives their life?
That being said, in a perfect world where any dream may come true I would chose to forgoe any funeral or ceremony and pilot a one manned rocket ship directly into the sun, prefferably streamed live for .99 cents to benefit something as universally beloved as animal rescue.
I will settle though, for a shallow and unmarked paupers grave with an evergreen tree planted atop.
Posted: Wed May 15, 2019 7:07 pm
The disease that I have falls under Canada's laws as one that qualifies for doctor assisted suicide should my condition worsen to the point of my body no longer being able to function. This delights me. I've always wanted my death to be something celebratory, and one of my deepest sadnesses is that I won't be able to be in physical attendance to my own funeral. Or at least physical in the way other people will be experiencing it.
I know that there's no real way to predict exactly how I will pass, but if I could plan the perfect celebration it would be having a big party with my loved ones and friends one last time before my doctor assisted death, and we'll exchange stories of our lives together that make us laugh so hard we cry. Then when the day comes, my closest and I will spend the day together listening to my favourite music (I have a list already compiled that changes and grows over the years), and finally the time will come for me to pass over surrounded by lilacs and the ones I love.
...I never really considered the lilacs part until just now. I think this means I'll have to plan to die in the Springtime
Also I've instructed my family to use the words "shed her mortal coil" in my obituary.
I already have my urn, and I've already picked out my final resting place in a quiet cemetery beside one of the greatest loves of my life.
I honestly feel as though I've been preparing for my death for as long as I can remember.