Thank you for this insight, Aquila. It means much that you've given the time to explain these things (as they seem to require explaining to me). I got upset when I interpretated that some of you were referring to my texts but not making it transparent (for example by quoting them). I saw it as a form of índirect communication which triggered me. But I can own this now. And by the way, I'm doing the same right now - referring just "some of you". I totally understand that this kind of impreciseness isn't personal.Aquila wrote: ↑Sat Mar 21, 2020 1:43 pmIn the limited space that we have here in these forum posts it’s reasonable to concentrate on one or few points at a time. We all have other thoughts as well that are just not shown in our messages. But I try to concentrate on thoughts that have been posted, add something to them and hopefully someone else adds more to my limited ideas that I have posted online, whether I already understood that side of things before or not. It’s impossible to concentrate on personal feelings and thoughts behind the posts. It can be annoying because you might feel something like “do these people really think that I didn’t know that already or do they think I’m some cold asshole who’s totally incompassionate”. Every time I post something here I also have various ideas that might be opposing the thoughts I just posted or I might think that maybe I shouldn't have written like that, etc.
In my case writing here is also about overcoming the wrong idea that I should be perfect in my ways of communication (I have a strong tendency to demand too much from myself and I have tried to leave that behind. Otherwise I could not write anything here.) If our writings were perfect there would be no discussion. It's also about letting others fill in something that I might have left unsaid or didn't realize. I write thoughts that are inspired by ideas presented on this forum by other users. I don’t post much about my personal issues or feelings but I still am very uncertain of everything I write here. It’s just my thoughts which I wish to be of some kind of value. And I’m very happy to be in a place where I feel there are people capable of the discussion we are having here. If I seem to be picking up on something some of you have written here, it’s only because your thoughts made me think about something I had not thought of before. They gave me something new to think about. It might seem like I am saying something to you personally but it's only a response to what you wrote, not what is behind the computer screen. It’s definitely not about trying to correct anyone or make you look like something you are not. I'm not trying to prove you wrong even if I disagree with something you said. I might seem very argumentative but it's only for the sake of trying to be clear and on point, yet I acknowledge I have misunderstandings like anyone else. But it's only good to write even things that might be based on misunderstanding others as that gives others the possibility to make things clearer which then allows me to learn and gain perspective.
Yes, we are balancing on thin lines here. In Tao te Ching there's a saying: "The greatest love seems indifferent". I'm a taoist in my heart (have been for many years) and I acknowledge how subtle the process of embodying the way is. I have to ask following questions again and again:Nefastos wrote: ↑Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:55 pmAnd which is even more important, he must not become one of those who wait the fire with anticipation, who would rejoice when the bombs fall (figuratively or literally). Those two are just the different kinds of the same most profane coin: remain small in the RHP or the LHP exotericism, and fall to the temptations of either tribe mentality or cruel selfishness.
By this I mean not to say that both of these falls would not have their alluring influcene over me. Especially the latter is something I have to at least passively fight off almost every day, be it a corona outbreak situation or something else entirely. But should I give up to that urge, even an inch, I would become the basest of all the base creatures, unable to actually help anyone, which would also include myself in the path of ascension. For that path is, most of all, the path of universal compassion.
Is this surrendering to the Being - or act of fearfully giving up?
Is this loving indifference - or not-giving-a-fuck disquised as such
... And the list goes on.
I've realized that - for me - nothing takes more courage/love in this world than being attached. Being attached to things I know being temporal and mortal feels like my heart is literally burning with the world. Giving birth to two children highlighted this. This kind of attachment is surrendering to the Tao. It's sees temporal as eternal - and vice versa.