Partners with different belief systems

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Polyhymnia
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Partners with different belief systems

Postby Polyhymnia » Fri May 17, 2019 10:54 pm

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

The above passage of biblical scripture was something my father always used to quote to me in relation to my finding a life partner. I don't agree with the passage, as the whole of our work is the merging of the RHP and the LHP, but I think about being unequally yoked with my partner quite often, and how it affects my path.

My partner is agnostic-lite, with no real interest in spiritual study. He doesn't get in the way of my own study, and wholeheartedly encourages it. However, there are times I feel a disconnect with him, specifically in a spiritual way. I'm curious as to the experience of others? Do you find it easier to have a partner who is also spiritually connected? Do you think it matters much?
"Limited love asks for possession of the beloved, but the unlimited asks only for itself." -Kahlil Gibran
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Re: Partners with different belief systems

Postby Nefastos » Sat May 18, 2019 2:07 pm

I recall with gratefulness my relationship with the lady who didn't follow the same belief system, but who was "spiritually connected" as you put it, by being eager to drink all kinds of ideas & discuss endlessly, not only by head but also by heart. This kind of electrified discussion I see much more important than being surficially of the same faith.

If one's partner respects one's ideas, thoughts, beliefs, I see it not as necessary that they shouldn't differ. On the other hand, if there is no mutual respect because of any reason, it doesn't much help to be of the same belief system. And like you said, I too see in Paul's thoughts something that is fundamentally contradictory not only to the Star of Azazel's practices, but also that of any Oriental thought, and much of the Western besides. The marriage between light and darkness, Yang and Yin, the polar opposites finding each other attractive, is how the partnership works. Where there is too much similarity, the same poles just magnetically repel each other; a certain amount of difference is demanded for a romantic relationship to be fruitful.
Faust: "Lo contempla. / Ei muove in tortuosa spire / e s'avvicina lento alla nostra volta. / Oh! se non erro, / orme di foco imprime al suol!"
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Cerastes
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Re: Partners with different belief systems

Postby Cerastes » Sat May 18, 2019 5:13 pm

All of my former partners are atheists and I never even spoke to another occultist personally because I don't know any.
There is very little tolerance for occultism around here. The few times I tried to honestly talk about this with friends or family didn't end up well.
Being -really- understood by someone else is a very seldom luxury and it does not necessarily require the same opinion or believe. In some cases, it might even be good to have someone who keeps one foot on the ground, so to say.
“Granny Weatherwax was not lost. She wasn't the kind of person who ever became lost. It was just that, at the moment, while she knew exactly where SHE was, she didn't know the position of anywhere else.”
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Smaragd
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Re: Partners with different belief systems

Postby Smaragd » Sun May 19, 2019 4:22 pm

Polyhymnia wrote:
Fri May 17, 2019 10:54 pm
...but I think about being unequally yoked with my partner quite often, and how it affects my path.
In my relationships I have tried to take this as an important challenge in understanding the world in every-day life as my belief says it is, that is, everyone and thing is of the same absolute – we are all beings of the spirit. This means we all take part of the mysteries more or less consciously and willingly. In relationships the problem has been for me alot about the lingo used by the belief systems. It can easily distance people and with deep understanding the same ideas can be pointed clearly in most common and known things. So I think when a discussion in a partnership ask for observation that come through a belief system it may be handy to find a languge that is more approachable. This won't ofcourse help if there is no mutual respect as pointed by fra Nefastos, or the same connections and meanings can't be accepted with even the more ”clean” and grounded terminology used. A question rises if it is really necessary to talk about such things with the partner. Having been blessed with the fraternity we have here a place to discuss such things and with the partner other aspects of life can be gone through. But I guess each of us have different paths regarding what things, for example, a partnership is to form around.

Another problem regarding this specificly satanic approach and belief system I'm sort of doomed and blessed to go with, is that my very being is soaked in this spirit causing irritation in the surrounding world. Total laymen sense some sort of distance or fear even although there is seldom any such stamps on my forehead. This might sound like something grand, royal and hyberbole but for me it's really more of a Mr. Bean type of dharma where you end up in the living room with your head inside a turkey.
I have also observed with people that accept a modified version of the lingo and have intuitive abilities to understand it, but are on the more freeflow astral guidance type of path, the uneasy dynamism (creeping out from the spirit after the first shining connection is made) is easily read as a sign that ”we don't belong” and not as something that points towards mysteries that might be important to solve for both parties of the relationship. This sort of madness of finding excuses from reading signs is the easy ”solution”. To answer the question; I find it easier to have a partner who is also spiritually connected – open to ideas etc. – but that's when the hard part can really start.
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Heith
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Re: Partners with different belief systems

Postby Heith » Sun May 19, 2019 8:59 pm

I find the idea of having a relationship with someone who would not share or accept and support my most important things quite difficult, most likely impossible. I find the world at large does not accept these things so I see no reason to have that in my own house. Relationships are so demanding -albeit they can be rewarding too- that I find no reason to search for the added difficulty of polar world views. For me that would not be freedom. But this is perhaps more a question of my temperament than anything else.
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Polyhymnia
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Re: Partners with different belief systems

Postby Polyhymnia » Mon May 20, 2019 5:53 pm

Smaragd wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 4:22 pm


Having been blessed with the fraternity we have here a place to discuss such things and with the partner other aspects of life can be gone through. But I guess each of us have different paths regarding what things, for example, a partnership is to form around.
I feel very fortunate to have found the fraternity when I did for this exact reason. It takes the burden off my spouse to have to pretend to be interested despite his eyes glazing over when I'm particularly on fire about a certain topic.
Smaragd wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 4:22 pm

Another problem regarding this specificly satanic approach and belief system I'm sort of doomed and blessed to go with, is that my very being is soaked in this spirit causing irritation in the surrounding world. Total laymen sense some sort of distance or fear even although there is seldom any such stamps on my forehead. This might sound like something grand, royal and hyberbole but for me it's really more of a Mr. Bean type of dharma where you end up in the living room with your head inside a turkey.
:lol: :lol: I think I can relate to this more than I thought I could. Also I love that episode.

Very interesting viewpoints all around. I'm surprised to hear about your experience with other people and the occult, Cerastes! I somehow naively thought that all of Europe was much more open about occultism than other countries.

I do agree, Nefastos, that there needs to be a certain amount of opposite to attract. I suppose just like with everything else there needs to be balance. I'm thankful the respect is there or I couldn't see the relationship working, because as Sor Heith put it:
Heith wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 8:59 pm
I find the idea of having a relationship with someone who would not share or accept and support my most important things quite difficult, most likely impossible.
Acceptance and support are the keys, I feel. Though sometimes I wonder what it would be like to share in an occult lifestyle together. The possibilities of merging energies in various ways. But I'm very grateful just to have the acceptance and support at the very least, because we live in a world where people are suffocated by the idea of possession.
"Limited love asks for possession of the beloved, but the unlimited asks only for itself." -Kahlil Gibran
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Cerastes
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Re: Partners with different belief systems

Postby Cerastes » Mon May 20, 2019 8:26 pm

Polyhymnia wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 5:53 pm
Very interesting viewpoints all around. I'm surprised to hear about your experience with other people and the occult, Cerastes! I somehow naively thought that all of Europe was much more open about occultism than other countries.
In general, the country is relatively open for occultism - at least I think so.
Unfortunately, my environment is not. I grew up in a catholic family and the fact that I'm not not married is already a no-go, so talking about Satanism might is not a smart idea.
My friends are all very technical or scientific-minded which is a good thing because I have an obsession for hardware electronics myself. But scientific-minded persons quite often attach great importance to the strictly intellectual, linear kind of intelligence to create an illusion of rationality as a sort of personality identification mechanism. To do so they naturally need other groups to for distinction that are said to be totally irrational, naive ect. Esotericism is something that seems to be very irrational to those who do not understand it, which is the large majority. So what happened here is that peopele feel elevated from their own irrationality by ponting out how stupid esotericists and religious people in general are. Unrealistic self-images are always fragile and need to be protected, which causes aggression against contrary views. I understand this and therfore I'm neither angry nor frustrated but maybe more and more distant towards the world.
Joining the SoA is helpful because, although it is hard for me to admit, it makes things a little easier if there is a knowlegde exchange with people who at least understand most struggles with occultism.
Smaragd wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 4:22 pm
This might sound like something grand, royal and hyberbole but for me it's really more of a Mr. Bean type of dharma where you end up in the living room with your head inside a turkey.
Best analogy ever :lol:
“Granny Weatherwax was not lost. She wasn't the kind of person who ever became lost. It was just that, at the moment, while she knew exactly where SHE was, she didn't know the position of anywhere else.”
(Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)
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Re: Partners with different belief systems

Postby Cancer » Thu May 23, 2019 7:39 pm

It is very difficult for me to maintain deep relationships with people who experience the world as "normal", who, for (hyperbolic) example, are not paralyzed by disbelief and horror when reading the news. The alienation that I seek in people and that more or less all my long-time friends have in common need not be of a specific kind, lead to a specific world-view; there are valid outlets for it in both the spiritual and the secular spheres. So I might find my anxieties as shareable with an occultist as with, say, a radical environmentalist.

My current partner has never been especially interested in occultism, but she has such a bottomless disdain for lazy "normality" that mentioning Satan to her doesn't sound weird in the least. Not that Satanism in particular is that important to me anymore; mostly I think of openness to ideas of its kind as a moderately useful indicator of intellectual maturity.
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Insanus
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Re: Partners with different belief systems

Postby Insanus » Thu May 23, 2019 11:20 pm

I would be forever alone if I demanded same beliefs from my partners. I guess left hand business just works that way.
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Re: Partners with different belief systems

Postby obnoxion » Wed Jun 05, 2019 7:35 pm

I am prone to idealize the concept of interfaith marriages. But in a long term relationship, the uniqueness of the people come forth. So I really feel this isn't an either/or thing. I have experience of spouse who is heavily into the gothic/occult/bm chic, but has little apprecoation of the substance. And I have experience of spouse who does not care about any formal spirituality, but has amazing clairvoyant dreams.

The one thing needed is the capacity to love. If it is really there, it will be accompanied with certain ethics. This is enough, and without this there is too little to go on. This is in essence my belief system. When it comes to the particulars of my spirituality, I don't need them to be shared by anybody. And I would never want to date a version of myself. But I do need room for them in my life, and I want to be accepted by my spouse.

EDIT: Removed off-topic stuff.
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