Astral Tests We've Failed

Astral and paranormal experiences, dreams and visions.
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Astral Tests We've Failed

Postby Nefastos » Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:51 pm

I think it is not often wise to speak publicly in attainments – seeming or real – we've made in the astral worlds. The experiences we get in dreams and other psychic states work not similarly with physical or intellectual experiences, and easily lure away from true advancement. Like The Voice of Silence says: "This Hall is dangerous in its perfidious beauty, is needed but for thy probation."

But this "probation" is important part of many an occultist's training. Thus I thought that it might be helpful to share the experiences in which challenges we've failed at, to help the others avoid some pitfalls. I consider actual attainments usually being possible only because we have stepped amiss so many times that the true way has been found because of all the errings... like the passage through Ian Livingstone's books. Also, what that "fail" actually means, might not be easy to see at first, which I will hopefully demonstrate with the first anecdote.

* * *

This one happened about twenty two years ago. I had been trying the theosophical training intensely, which in my case means that the psychical atmosphere was often quite disturbed because of the forceful blocking out of sexual energy. It was also a time when I was not yet a Satanist, so I wrestled a lot with the projected image of "the black magician", who was very pleased when I I tried to kill him in the astral state. For, as we know of magicians, "striking one down only makes him stronger".

In such an atmosphere I started to get more vivid lucid dreams. In one such situation, I was in a chamber with many doors. This was clearly a test, or felt like one. But since I was awake in the astral state, I knew very well that anything could came out from those doors if I opened them, and that was a horror I could not endure: I simply escaped by forcing myself awake. Never again did I receive a similar test (that I can recall).

* * *

Now there's a moral in this story of failure, but where one puts it, might differ regarding of the interpreter's own school of thought. A Right Hand Path follower most likely says that my failing was in giving in to fear & thus escaping the inner fight that was demanded. Personally, after so long a time, I think I can safely say that the lesson for me was in a completely different direction: that the fighting & blocking out energy was the failing, creating a seriously mistaken dualism, which in turn was the foundation of a very real fear. When the aspirant is split in half, fear & anger have been created, and a lot of fighting against ghosts & figments will follow. In such a fight against oneself, both success and failure are ways to psychosis.
Faust: "Lo contempla. / Ei muove in tortuosa spire / e s'avvicina lento alla nostra volta. / Oh! se non erro, / orme di foco imprime al suol!"
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Re: Astral Tests We've Failed

Postby Zeraim » Sun Feb 16, 2020 12:07 pm

I have had bit similar "failures" connected to theosophical world view, sex and doors (not the band).

When I was around 13 or 14, I failed my "initiation". During a lucid dream I was partaking my initiation into Great White Brotherhoods but I got too horny during the event. So they decided I was not advanced enough and denied me the path until I could balance my animal drives. This caused quite some frustration back then.

Second failure was connected to chamber with doors and was also a lucid dream. I was lead down to subterranean chamber with multiple doors, One of them was massive and I became anxious. I knew that behind it was all what I was afraid. I became too nervous and lost control and woke up. I have never found that door again but I have met things that have come trough that door. I have the feeling that this door would now be open, if I happen to find it again. But this one still annoys me :D


I have to agree with you, that I really think that these experience reveal some of the problems that can arise when trying to block out sexuality or some other elements which one considers evil etc.
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Re: Astral Tests We've Failed

Postby Malja » Sun Feb 16, 2020 1:41 pm

When I was about 18 years old, I had a dream where a handsome young man with blond hair and black clothes lured me to go through a doorway.
I took a quick peek in and realised I would be totally destroyed if I’d do what he told me to, for there was nothing but a horrible darkness and Void on the other side.
I suggested that we have sex instead, and he didn't argue :D
At the time I thought I had encountered my Thanathos and cleverly avoided a real danger but later I have been thinking that perhaps I could've undergone some kind of spiritual dying and rebirth.
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Re: Astral Tests We've Failed

Postby Aperiemus » Mon Feb 17, 2020 11:11 am

This thread brought to my mind a particular nightmare around the time when I was working out my brotherhood name. In short, few instances before waking up I was confronted by a menacing cloaked figure running towards me. What made this experience valuable, was the realization that this figure was the same I had witnessed twice before in my nightmares, once in my childhood and once on the brink of adulthood. Based on my current ideas and intuitions I have become convinced, that this figure is a sort of a gatekeeper or a guardian whose trial I have continuously been failing (and probably keep on failing, who knows). Experience was overall quite positive, since recognizing that one is failing, is better than being unaware of it.

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