Rejection

Rational discussions on metaphysical and abstract topics.
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Kavi
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Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 4:52 pm

Rejection

Post by Kavi »

Nefastos wrote: Fri Mar 19, 2021 9:14 pm
Mars wrote: Thu Mar 18, 2021 4:13 pmIn the language of Christian mysticism we find terms like surrendering to God or emptying ourselves. This implies that the revelation is "handed down", whereas in Plotinian and Blavatskyan thought the ascent is the key. Revelation happens in both examples but the methodology is in my view quite different. This is what I was trying to get at, the juxtaposition of the two.

In case one would have to choose, either metaphysically (i.e. what kind of a soteriological language to use here), or temperamentically (i.e. what would be one's emphasis on this question), I would choose the Neoplatonic & Blavatskyan stance here, which is also the Luciferian one. So, according to my personal religious choice I'd say that "handed down" revelation is – juxtaposition underlined on purpose as you wished – worthless. In case such a mystery would belong to a theological world, such a mystery would belong to the theology of a tyrant God towards with I hold only contempt.

But since "contempt" can only be part of a partly symbolical, exoterical gnostic view, I consider this approach to be forced and not often beneficent one to take.

I was listening to music about spring and watching images of spring as I started to think about apocalypse and revelation and how people wait for something.
They wait for snow to melt, to see spring, Sun and warmness, to feel light breeze of wind and all fresh scents it gives and how leaves sound in the wind.
Some might wait for their "friend" to arrive who will take worries away, to see revelation, to seek closeness of God.

And once I got through thinking about all of this I understood that this attempt to understand life, to get intimate, all of this attempt has made me realize how abandoned and rejected I have become.
It is almost like a form of hell where Sun shines yet it doesn't warm, trees grow green but have lost its greenness, birds are flying but neither they sing or have message, the wind is reminder of the mockery of that state that spring has turned into.

This feeling came quite strong and although I have had similar thoughts before, this time they were much more possible to sense and make into sentences and the experience lasted for brief minutes.
For me it felt like negation, or antithetical for what is familiarized notion of mysticism and ecstatic feeling of Union.
In binary world and thinking, Union is completed with separation, wine with poison, God completed through Satan.

But for me it feels that it's insignificant and maybe this kind of thinking is grounded in the idea of Tyrant God?
One could of course find the union from separation and wine from poison and God from Satan.
The ship that sank in storm found it's harbor from the depths of sea?
But it leaves me still in despair - I don't want any of that. No union or wine of ecstasy and God.
What could they possibly give for one? Comfortable reward, I call it bribe and justification for all misery that "has to happen".

I know some of SoA members have gone through rougher "black period" than I have and processed some of their frictions with life, but I'd like to hear if any of you have had recently or before similar or different kind of thoughts.
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Insanus
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Location: Helsinki

Re: Rejection

Post by Insanus »

Kavi wrote: Sat Mar 20, 2021 1:12 am I know some of SoA members have gone through rougher "black period" than I have and processed some of their frictions with life, but I'd like to hear if any of you have had recently or before similar or different kind of thoughts.
All the time. You described the state so well I don't know what to add.
Jumalan synnit ovat kourallinen hiekkaa ihmisen valtameressä
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Soror O
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Re: Rejection

Post by Soror O »

Kavi wrote: Sat Mar 20, 2021 1:12 am I know some of SoA members have gone through rougher "black period" than I have and processed some of their frictions with life, but I'd like to hear if any of you have had recently or before similar or different kind of thoughts.
I was a quite troubled as a child, suicidal by the time I was preteen. In my early twenies, years 2010 - 2012, I went through this phase that one could describe as annihilation of the ego and personal meaning. Since I was burned in that pyre, I have been granted the gift of Meaning. But this gift is not mine to keep or hold, never... rather it's a holy bird that chooses to sit on my branch.

But just today, I woke up to this body. Feeling the same, utter, meaninlessness of my existence. Hating God for not letting things rest. I just want to seize. The same old erotic energy, the same old seasons, births and deaths... I'm tired. Then I acknowledged (remembered) that it is vital to let myself burn without resistance. Let things die, all the time (like Insanus referred). It really never gets easier (in the sense that I could "keep" any of my stuff), one just gets more used to being burned at the pyre with all of her "possessions".

What discomfort really is? Why should I be bothered by it? I love the kriya named 'ego eradicator' (regardless of the ridiculous name). It releases my resistance quite effectively and brings back my humour.

(Yet, as a disclamer, I encourage anyone who has rough, unfinished psychological issues to seek proper, psychiatric help for spirituality can be used as bypassing equipment.)
If you want to reborn, let yourself die.
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