Empathy and honesty

[Mimesis]

This conversation may be over, but I thought to try and quickly contribute something to it, even if only for myself, as was thinking about something similar to this earlier in the week.

Ultimately, I don't agree that there is necessarily a compromise between being honest as well as empathic.
My understanding of empathy is about being aware, considerate and ready to share in the experience of someone else, but not to deny them of truth or that experience of it, just because we believe that they are not ready for it. There may well be situations where we judge the most empathic thing to do is to be silent or withhold certain information, but I think it is rare that the latter is ever the case. The crux is in our preparation for their reaction and willingness to offer what they may need as a result.
There is a danger of seeking control and power over someone if we think of empathy as a filter. Instead I think empathy should be considered a reaction.

I am deliberately trying to avoid using the word 'understanding' when speaking about this, even though it feels natural to do so when speaking of empathy, because I don't believe that we can ever truly understand anyone else - at least not their sufferings - we can only empathise with them.

[Nefastos]

This conversation may be over, but I thought to try and quickly contribute something to it, even if only for myself, as was thinking about something similar to this earlier in the week.

I am glad whenever people come to the older discussions & revigorate them. Most of things we discuss here are quite timeless.

Ultimately, I don't agree that there is necessarily a compromise between being honest as well as empathic.
My understanding of empathy is about being aware, considerate and ready to share in the experience of someone else, but not to deny them of truth or that experience of it, just because we believe that they are not ready for it.

I agree. But there are so many forms of communication, and so many levels of intimacy (actual, inner meeting). I think the key point is "readiness to share", like you put it. Withholding information is a bigger sin than it is usually considered, one of the most common forms of violence in my opinion. But people also tend to overestimate what they actually want to hear, and what they are able to hear without taking it in a wrong way. Criticism &c. tend to grow in the hearer's mind out of its actual proportions, when it is extracted out of its time. Since we are simply inable to tell everything – the world and ourselves are made of constant flow of information on million levels – it is an important skill to see what is meaningful to put into words and what is not. I think it really boils down to intention and true honesty and love inside, once again. That is to say: is something we say or leave unsaid done in order to gain or retain power, or is our communication really loving in intimate and immediate way.