Red Bird wrote:Whatever part dies because of an intense emotion was not worth being kept alive. I’m not speaking about damage, I’m speaking about death.
But for an occultist, what is "death"?
This is the terrible key-keeper that blocks our way: There is no way out. There is no ceasing.
We can (and we should) try to work with the whole of our soul, with the whole of the energetical spectrum of creation (including transformations known as death), but the nauseating terror in this is that it never ends. Which means, that our idea that at some point will come either some healing or collapse (death; annihilation) if we just put our best effort to the work, will be tested.
Let's say we pass that test, and move on.
But... it doesn't stop there. The damage that has been done to our psyche, our psychoenergetical whole, is there. The chopped off limb is gone. Yet the work continues, the life continues, the tests continue; new limbs will be demanded. In this way, psyche can become like a vampire victim.
When I was young, I used to keep my eyes in beautiful death. That at some day all this will end. But when the terrible truth starts to dawn, namely, that this will never end, there we have Despair that is not like a shadow seen on the light canvas, but total black that swallows whole the canvas, the artist with all his tools, the apartment, the whole Piedmont & all the stars in the firmament.
That Despair is no longer an emotion, in the same way Love isn't. These two are the whole ocean of salty water drops, lasting so much longer than any eyes from where they are poured. There are depths for Despair that can be reached by full conviction of immortality.