Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Rational discussions on metaphysical and abstract topics.
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Fomalhaut
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Re: Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Post by Fomalhaut »

From my own experiences when I remember the horrible times of despair from my past, I always have a bitter smile on my face and I remember those times with a great gratitude. I know that they were necessary and had to happen for my own spiritual development.
"I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."
— C.G. Jung
Mera
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Re: Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Post by Mera »

Personally I feel those who understand life's lessons which includes despair get the options of becoming guides to those who need them.
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wayfareangel
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Re: Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Post by wayfareangel »

I know I'm new, but I'd like to share. Despair actually saved me, quite literally.

I had a very emotionally abusive childhood. To survive, I developed PTSD that manifested in the inability to feel love, hate, or guilt. I had a compulsion to like, no ethics but my own, and I was both fiercely smart and very likable. In short, I was a time bomb. Eventually I got out of my abusive home, but I was still dangerous. It could have been so, so easy for me to get involved in awful things, and not only hurt myself but other people.

That didn't happen, though, because of Despair. I don't know when exactly it happened, I think in grade Eight, but I developed Depression. In the years when I was at my most hurt, my most... evil, for lack of a better term, I was shackled. The depression robbed me of my energy, kept me in place. It caused me to sleep, and think, and examine the way I felt and why I felt it in order to survive it. It made me empathetic, it made me ask questions, and it gave me an ability to detach and process that I didn't have before. Depression saved me from anger, and how that anger might of effected myself and others.

I was always going to turn out messed up just because of who my dad and step-mother were, but out of all the ways I could have turned out, I like who I am the best. I get to love now, and I get to love easily.

Short answer, yes, I think good things can come from Despair.

Thanks for letting me share. It wasn't easy.
Time for one more daring dream.
Fomalhaut
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Re: Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Post by Fomalhaut »

wayfareangel wrote:I know I'm new, but I'd like to share. Despair actually saved me, quite literally.

I had a very emotionally abusive childhood. To survive, I developed PTSD that manifested in the inability to feel love, hate, or guilt. I had a compulsion to like, no ethics but my own, and I was both fiercely smart and very likable. In short, I was a time bomb. Eventually I got out of my abusive home, but I was still dangerous. It could have been so, so easy for me to get involved in awful things, and not only hurt myself but other people.

That didn't happen, though, because of Despair. I don't know when exactly it happened, I think in grade Eight, but I developed Depression. In the years when I was at my most hurt, my most... evil, for lack of a better term, I was shackled. The depression robbed me of my energy, kept me in place. It caused me to sleep, and think, and examine the way I felt and why I felt it in order to survive it. It made me empathetic, it made me ask questions, and it gave me an ability to detach and process that I didn't have before. Depression saved me from anger, and how that anger might of effected myself and others.

I was always going to turn out messed up just because of who my dad and step-mother were, but out of all the ways I could have turned out, I like who I am the best. I get to love now, and I get to love easily.

Short answer, yes, I think good things can come from Despair.

Thanks for letting me share. It wasn't easy.
I am sorry to hear about your childhood. But, it is great to hear that you get to love regardless what happened in your past. And thanks a lot for sharing.
"I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."
— C.G. Jung
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wayfareangel
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Re: Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Post by wayfareangel »

No problem. As I said, I like who I am, and I am who I am as a result of what happened to me, so I can't be too angry about it.

Though I did just wake up and had this awful dream where I cussed out my stepmother and tried to spit in her face, but was unable to gather the saliva... I guess it would be unhealthy if I wasn't still a little upset about what happened.
Time for one more daring dream.
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Heith
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Re: Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Post by Heith »

wayfareangel wrote:No problem. As I said, I like who I am, and I am who I am as a result of what happened to me, so I can't be too angry about it.
Absolutely. It's futile to spend time thinking how things could have been otherwise. One easily grows bitter that way or wallows in the past, rather than try and make the best of the situation at hand. Fomalhaut's signature sums it rather nicely, I think.
MAF
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Re: Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Post by MAF »

Despair has fueled a great deal of perseverance, maturity, and spiritual development in my own life. It continues to be a challenge personally for me, yet it serves as a driving force. Using positive outlets such as doing artwork, and writing helped to express all emotions and energies from all the negative experiences. In many ways the negative has turned into positive once understanding the meaning of it all; shaped me to become a better person and learning a great deal about myself.
Kenaz
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Re: Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Post by Kenaz »

Nefastos wrote:

Can good things come from despair?


I find personally that great things can come from despair if one has the personal fortitude to examine within themselves the nature of where their despair comes from.
Nefastos wrote:

From the Satanic viewpoint I'd also like to add that there's like a horrible beauty, a fascination, in them (sins). Not by over-rationalizing nor by closing one's eyes from their problems, but by carefully trying to understand them - in a reverence of sorts, even - we can slowly learn how to "breath them in", so to say, "To use them like they want to use you", like it is said in the Voice of Silence.

The very nature of walking a road such as this requires one to look inward as well as around themselves in order to understand a fraction of the Absolute, but these things will always lead back to a dynamic change and struggle within the individual before it is applied and then realized within the world. Sins become very useful tools in this matter, because to truly attempt to understand any sort of harmony requires the understanding of anomalies that appear inharmonious.


For this reason, I would say that Despair is the most important of these sins, because it is the result of this introspection. It is the point of transformation where one realizes the folly of certain aspects of their nature and the world around them, and can make the choice of letting go of them or becoming binded by them. It's the most intimate nature of what Satan can represent out of the sins; despair is His dark face incarnate, and it is the moment where the individual not only has the opportunity to see past Satan's harsh and confrontational nature and see the illumination that lies at his core, but to tear down their own masks and preconceived notions to become closer to the being they truly are.
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Nefastos
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Re: Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Post by Nefastos »

I too have been necromancing this thread in this week, substituting one of the less useful parts of Argarizim - the example of rotation of cardinal sins - with the more (I think) useful notion of the making up of those sins' energetics in a form of two crosses / four doubles.
Kenazis wrote:I would say that Despair is the most important of these sins, because it is the result of this introspection.


I agree. The two highest sins, Pride & Despair, seem to form the very basic problem for the soul, the problem rising more from knowledge than from ignorance. I think this way of understanding the basic problem of humanity is like the Occidental version of the sources of suffering, where Oriental mindset might trace it to ignorance (of one's divine and/or empty origin=reality). This is interesting, because here these two paths cross. Usually the western mindset is about intelligence where the eastern puts more effort on understanding the individual's place in the whole. It's like the eyes of the Taijitu.
Faust: "Lo contempla. / Ei muove in tortuosa spire / e s'avvicina lento alla nostra volta. / Oh! se non erro, / orme di foco imprime al suol!"
Kenazis
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Re: Despair - A Blessing of Satan

Post by Kenazis »

Nefastos wrote:I too have been necromancing this thread in this week, substituting one of the less useful parts of Argarizim - the example of rotation of cardinal sins - with the more (I think) useful notion of the making up of those sins' energetics in a form of two crosses / four doubles.
Kenazis wrote:I would say that Despair is the most important of these sins, because it is the result of this introspection.
Kenazis and Kenaz are two different persons (for at least what I'm aware off)
"We live for the woods and the moon and the night"
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