Suicide

Rational discussions on metaphysical and abstract topics.
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gryning
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Re: Suicide

Postby gryning » Wed Apr 26, 2017 5:47 pm

In my opinion the text you posted has much depth and truth in it.
Its both beautiful but still in my experience true.


Myself have one earlier and quite odd experience in commiting suicide. This was a time many years ago when many traumatic happenings occured at the same time

Because of my close relation to water, I took the car to a lake during a warm winter night. I decided to tie a stone and connect the rope to my leg.

My goal was to walk over the lake so the ice would break. The ice had started to melt and I was convinced to fall through to the other side.

Step after step I had that underlying feeling of despair.
The ironic thing was that I then saw myself standing on frosen grass, on the other side. At the time i started to cry, mostly because the whole experience was so intense, but also thoughts started to appear, feelings I had neglected. Also some spark of hope in how much humour, even the most serious parts of life have, if we chose to see it.

In a way this experience is very cliche, but its one of the most important memories of my life.
“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” - Milton, Paradise Lost
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Sebomai
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Re: Suicide

Postby Sebomai » Thu May 04, 2017 1:29 am

I struggle with thoughts of and desires for suicide every single day. It is a part of all I think and do. People who don't understand how close I am to destroying myself at all times don't understand me or my heart at all. But the philosophies and spiritual beliefs and practices of the SoA have saved my life many times. I am a very bad practitioner and I don't post or interact much anymore, but the SoA is still a part of who I am and it still keeps me going when despair wants to bring me to ruin.

So thank you all, for putting up with me and for providing a place where the unusual spiritual beliefs I've always held have a home.
obnoxion
Sodalis
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Re: Suicide

Postby obnoxion » Fri May 05, 2017 6:28 pm

For those who feel comfortable with theistic devotional practice, it is said that the worship of the white marble Shivalinga (there are dozens of different types of lingams) banishes suicidal thought and enhances concentration skills.
One day of Brahma has 14 Indras; his life has 54 000 Indras. One day of Vishnu is the lifetime of Brahma. The lifetime of Vishnu is one day of Shiva.
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Sebomai
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Re: Suicide

Postby Sebomai » Fri May 05, 2017 6:46 pm

obnoxion wrote:For those who feel comfortable with theistic devotional practice, it is said that the worship of the white marble Shivalinga (there are dozens of different types of lingams) banishes suicidal thought and enhances concentration skills.

Frater, for me, personally, as you know, I am very comfortable with theistic devotional practices, so I'm so happy you posted this. Thank you so much. I will have to incorporate this into my practice, especially when I am in one of these bad mental and emotional places. I hope this piece of knowledge can help others, too!
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Sebomai
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Re: Suicide

Postby Sebomai » Fri May 05, 2017 8:37 pm

Fra. obnoxion, I live in a very heavily populated by Hindus city, and was easily able to walk five minutes to a Hindu statuary store and purchase this. I will do some study on proper devotional contemplation and put it into practice. Bless you for the suggestion, I'm willing to try anything that might help.
obnoxion
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Re: Suicide

Postby obnoxion » Sun May 07, 2017 11:42 am

It is such a beautiful piece! There are ways how one is supposed to take darsan in a Temple, but it involves a statute of Nandi: You put your left hand on the Bull's testicles, and your right hand's little finger and thumb on the Bull's horns or ears. Then you only view (that is, take darsan) the Lingam through the opening made up by the horns and your right hand. Though the worship might be different in a private home.

There is also a very distinct pattern of energy distribution that follows the shapes of the Lingam. Put I Am sure you will find these things out yourself.

At least where I live, when you have a mood disorder, you get the somatic, psychological and social help from the society. But for people who place emphasis on spirituality, a simple practice might be profitable, as it anchors us in life. It is important to remember that life in this world cannot be without at least some suffering. But for me, a daily spiritual practice has helped me through some very dismal years. And those hard years have given me an iron faith in my practice. So although my practice is immaterial, the last 19 years have made it into a diamond - too clear to be seen, too solid to be ignored, too precious to allow poverty.
One day of Brahma has 14 Indras; his life has 54 000 Indras. One day of Vishnu is the lifetime of Brahma. The lifetime of Vishnu is one day of Shiva.
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Boreas
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Re: Suicide

Postby Boreas » Sat Jan 11, 2020 9:16 pm

I have attempted suicide in autumn 2017. It was a very dark and depressive phase of my life, and not even a good relationship and myself being a father of two daughters didn't prevent me attempting to kill myself. I tried to hang myself, but - as is obvious - the attempt failed because of a broken electrical cord. I even wrote letters to my loved one and to my daughters three times before the attempt, trying to explain my decision.

Before the attempt I saw a dream in which I was in a chaotic and dark world, and my daughters were there alone. All I could think was that they are the ones I should look after no matter what, despite all the internal and external horror I was experiencing 24/7 at the time. Even this very clear dream didn't prevent me from attempting to kill myself.

After the attempt I was in a somnabulistic state and some very beautiful and good things happened in an instant, and I woke up to a clear daylight consciousness and sighed aloud "thank God I didn't succeed in killing myself!".

Suicide and suicidal / destructive thoughts and emotions are a very real test for anyone, and I understand anyone who comes to the conclusion that it would be better to be dead than alive. But alas, there is no escape from the horrors of existence by way of suicide. Even when I attempted suicide I never thought that it would be an real answer to anything, since I believe both in afterlife and in re-incarnation. A real paradox it was - the attempt.
It is by standing on the shoulders of giants one can reach for the sky.
Umbra
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Re: Suicide

Postby Umbra » Mon Jan 20, 2020 10:15 am

I have also attempted suicide once, in 2015. Although I'm sorry for the pain I caused my loved ones, I don't regret the experience in itself - I acknowledge the sanctity of death and being able to see death that close was a privilege, although not one I wish to repeat.

I used to be afraid of death, but nowadays I'm more worried that that there might not be death, at least not as easily as it seems. For months after my hospitalization, I was _absolutely convinced_ that I was immortal and I would eventually be the last person alive watching the sun die: a situation far more terrifying than death as eternal sleep. The conviction of immortality eventually subsided, or transformed into a more intellectual belief. I think that if there's even a small chance to survive a situation, "I" will survive, since in the possible world where I die I won't be around to observe it. I'm not sure I believe in consciousness surviving on without a body, I'm not ruling it out, but even without considering that side there are good arguments against suicide. You are way more likely to injure yourself horribly and be stuck in an even worse situation than to succeed in ending the suffering.

This experience has really made me me committed to making my life bearable instead of looking for an exit.
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Boreas
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Re: Suicide

Postby Boreas » Mon Jan 20, 2020 3:33 pm

I'm glad you didn't succeed Umbra!
Umbra wrote:
Mon Jan 20, 2020 10:15 am
This experience has really made me me committed to making my life bearable instead of looking for an exit.

Same here. I'm not suicidal at all nowadays.
It is by standing on the shoulders of giants one can reach for the sky.
obnoxion
Sodalis
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Re: Suicide

Postby obnoxion » Mon Jan 20, 2020 11:27 pm

Umbra wrote:
Mon Jan 20, 2020 10:15 am
You are way more likely to injure yourself horribly and be stuck in an even worse situation than to succeed in ending the suffering.
This is extremely good point. Many people don't realize just how often and how severely this is the outcome of attempted suicide, and that even the most violent means will not guarantee death.

Though it must be possible to find the meaning to one's life that one couldn't find before becoming permanently disabled because of suicide attempt. But it will likely be a difficult road.

However, it is good to read of experiences where attempted suicide has become a blessing in life.
One day of Brahma has 14 Indras; his life has 54 000 Indras. One day of Vishnu is the lifetime of Brahma. The lifetime of Vishnu is one day of Shiva.

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